Around the anniversary of the indecent that changed my life forever (a car accident I was damaged in when I was 17) , I like to reflect, normally it consists of a whole lot of self pity about all the things I missed out on that year, although I try to focus on the good days, well when it rolled around this year, I realized something, I don't feel sorry for myself anymore. I've accepted that I'm just going to have to move slower, and cry more than most people. I've accepted that I'm doing the best I can. I think I even forgive little Sera, for not grabbing the wheel, I just didn't think to do it, I didn't drive at the time.  (not that I can now, bum leg and all that.) This year is the first year that this has been okay with me. I mean really okay. I've blamed myself for years/ not really thought about it/ blamed myself. For the past few years I've been on a quest, to find out why I really hurt all the time, my body should have healed long, long ago, right? I have since been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensitivity, and gluten intolerance. (since I found out what tests to ask for, thanks for all the help doctors pfft.) I wanted to start this blog then, but I didn't have anything hopeful to say. I didn't have hope, I just knew I was going to die if I didn't try something different. Well now I feel different. I don't feel so hopeless, almost the opposite. Now I'm healing. I don't need doctors, I don't need drugs, this is my life.